I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
