Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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