Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
Randomize
