Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
Randomize
