Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
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