the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Randomize
