I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
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