Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
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