You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
Randomize
