I will die if light touches me.
Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
Randomize
