'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
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