he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
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