so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
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