Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
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