does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
