he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
Randomize
