I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
Randomize
