Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
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