weddingsv make me drug and hornr
If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
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