Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
I just sucked dick on a ferry
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
