Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
Randomize
