i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
Randomize
