Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
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