Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
Randomize
