i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
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