So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
