We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Randomize
