How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
I want a musical about memes.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
Randomize
