Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Randomize
