did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
Never underestimate the power of titties
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
Randomize
