I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
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