Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
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