would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
Randomize
