we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
Randomize
