her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
Randomize
