I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
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