im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
Randomize
