the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
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