I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
It's like God shit irony all over that family
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
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