If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
either way he was missing a nipple.
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
Randomize
