She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
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