Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
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