Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Randomize
