so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
Randomize
