Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
he just fucked me for my cheese.
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
Randomize
