i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Randomize
