there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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