Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Randomize
