Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
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