I can't watch pbs sober anymore
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
Randomize
